They have been coming thick and fast of late, but without any further adieu, here they are ... Feel free to add suggestions.



7. Bewitched (2006)

Starring: Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell and Michael Caine.
Two words, Nicole. Kidman. Two more words. Fail. Fail. The queen of box-office flops. No amount of witchery could save this from being an absolute dog of a movie. Jim Carrey was originally approached to star in the film but had other committments. Lucky for him. They'd be better doing a I Dream of Jeannie movie. She was much hotter.



6. Mission: Impossible (1996)

Starring: Tom Cruise, Jon Voight and Jean Reno.
C'mon, when was the Mission: Impossible team just about one man? Not until Tom Cruise got his hands on the feature film rights. It's pretty slick, but pretty complicated as well. (Spoiler) The hero of the TV series, Jim Phelps, turns out to be the bad guy in this one. I've boycotted watching the last two. Even though the third one looked pretty cool from the previews. Oh well.


5. Lost in Space (1998)

Starring: William Hurt, Mimi Rogers and Gary Oldman.
Friend's Joey, Matt Leblanc, as the hero Don West says it all really. Puts the fear of God into you, doesn't he ... ? There should have been a big robot out the front of the cinema playing this shite screaming 'Danger! Danger!' It could've been worse. Fellow Friend Matthew 'Chandler' Perry was originally offered the part of West. And, what the hell was Gary Oldman thinking?


4. My Favorite Martian (1999)

Starring: Jeff Daniels, Christopher Lloyd and Liz Hurley.
It might have been funny in the '50s and '60s but not in the '90s, especially with an over-the-top Christopher Lloyd as the Martian. Hurley was the only positive. They'd be better off making My Favourite Gay Martian featuring Roger from American Dad. Lloyd's Doc from Back To The Future should've gone back in time to stop the making of this movie




3. Wild Wild West (1999)

Starring: Will Smith, Kevin Kline and Salma Hayek.
This comedy-western was one of Will Smith's great turkeys. His song for the film was the pits as well. It cost US$170million to make, and barely made up the difference in worldwide box-office sales. Won 5 Razzie awards, which are the opposite of the Oscars. And I believe it features on the helpful DVD 'How Not To Make Blockbusters'. Spawned a terrible theme song too.


2. The Avengers (1998)

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman and Sean Connery.
Even Uma Thurman in a catsuit couldn't save this one. And Sean Connery as the villain? It's been said the only villain of the dry, soulless movie was the director. Apparently, after terrible test screenings, the film was recut from its original 2hr 30min running time to the 89-minute version released to theaters. Still 89-minutes too long. Thurman and Fiennes asked we please not show their faces.


1. Thunderbirds (2004)

Starring: Bill Paxton, Ben Kingsley, Anthony Edwards.
Appalling dumbed-down version (yes, even for a movie based on a TV show about strung-up puppets) which tries to tap into the Spy Kids market without success. Would've been better using the original wooden actors. Rolls Royce was on to something when it declined to be a part of the project.


Lady Penelope's car in the TV series, FAB 1, was a futuristic Rolls Royce. In this movie the car was modeled by Ford Europe. Only someone with Schiffer-Brains could make a movie as bad as this one.