Why Ben Affleck Should Never Act Again
April 28th 2008 06:59
I take back every bad thing I ever said about Ben Affleck. I forgive him for his transgressions in Gigli, Jersey Girl and Pearl Harbour. I can now overlook the smug grin and one-note performance he gives in every movie he “acts” in. You see; Ben Affleck has redeemed himself in my eyes.
This redemption can be summed up in three little words: <i>Gone Baby Gone</i>. Much to everyone’s surprise, it turns out that Ben Affleck is a much better director than he is an actor. Heck, Ben Affleck is a much better director than a most of the directors he’s ever worked for.
Who would have thought that this lantern-jawed, ex-shagger of J-Lo could drag himself out of Matt Damon’s shadow long enough to make one of the finest thrillers I have seen that’s not directed by someone named Coen? Gone Baby Gone is a gripping tale of moral ambiguity that satisfies on just about every level without ever providing an easy answer. It is a film that demonstrates that the right thing to do is not always the right thing to do, and is sure to be ripe fodder for a fiery post-film discussion.
So it turns out that Ben Affleck, the man who is yet to prove that he can act his way out of a wet paper bag, is a great director. Which begs the question: Is Gone baby Gone a fluke?
It’s a bit early to say, but a perusal of Mr Affleck’s IMDB page reveals that it is not, in fact, his first directing effort. It turns out that in 1993, Ben directed a short film entitled I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three-Picture Deal at Disney. I’m not joking, that’s the title. Now, I haven’t seen the short film in question, but that title is the best thing since meat.
If he redeemed himself with Gone Baby Gone, then he automatically achieves retroactive hero status with IKMLWHHOAMHANIHATPDWD, regardless of whether it is any good or if it is a 16-minute punch to the brain. Any film title that is so long that it needs punctuation is okay in my book.
So, to Ben Affleck I say this: stick to directing, dude. Leave the acting to your little brother, Casey - he’s much better at that than you. You’ve finally earned back that respect you’ve squandered since Good Will Hunting – don’t go wasting it again on silly romantic comedies or Michael Bay craptaculars.
And, for the love of God, don’t answer any calls from Kevin Smith.
This redemption can be summed up in three little words: <i>Gone Baby Gone</i>. Much to everyone’s surprise, it turns out that Ben Affleck is a much better director than he is an actor. Heck, Ben Affleck is a much better director than a most of the directors he’s ever worked for.
Who would have thought that this lantern-jawed, ex-shagger of J-Lo could drag himself out of Matt Damon’s shadow long enough to make one of the finest thrillers I have seen that’s not directed by someone named Coen? Gone Baby Gone is a gripping tale of moral ambiguity that satisfies on just about every level without ever providing an easy answer. It is a film that demonstrates that the right thing to do is not always the right thing to do, and is sure to be ripe fodder for a fiery post-film discussion.
So it turns out that Ben Affleck, the man who is yet to prove that he can act his way out of a wet paper bag, is a great director. Which begs the question: Is Gone baby Gone a fluke?
It’s a bit early to say, but a perusal of Mr Affleck’s IMDB page reveals that it is not, in fact, his first directing effort. It turns out that in 1993, Ben directed a short film entitled I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three-Picture Deal at Disney. I’m not joking, that’s the title. Now, I haven’t seen the short film in question, but that title is the best thing since meat.
If he redeemed himself with Gone Baby Gone, then he automatically achieves retroactive hero status with IKMLWHHOAMHANIHATPDWD, regardless of whether it is any good or if it is a 16-minute punch to the brain. Any film title that is so long that it needs punctuation is okay in my book.
So, to Ben Affleck I say this: stick to directing, dude. Leave the acting to your little brother, Casey - he’s much better at that than you. You’ve finally earned back that respect you’ve squandered since Good Will Hunting – don’t go wasting it again on silly romantic comedies or Michael Bay craptaculars.
And, for the love of God, don’t answer any calls from Kevin Smith.
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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Had me laughing for a full 30 seconds. Great post
How can someone so shite at acting be such a good director? I guess Speilberg probably can't act.
Comment by Lilla
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*laughs* Funny post this... reminds me a bit of Jim Steinman, who wrote the absolute best songs in the world, but couldn't sing them and was nothing until Meat Loaf came along... or Leonardo De C redeeming himself in Blood Diamond, another classic example... and here is Affleck, Directing?
Yep, that makes sense to me, he sure as hell can't act, that IS for sure.
Lilla ...