5 Crazy Plots for the Next Spider-Man Movie
September 7th 2008 15:21
ANOTHER LIST
Reports from Hollywood suggest a fourth installment of the big-screen Spider-Man series is a goer to start shooting next year, with star Tobey Maguire and director Sam Raimi back on board.
With the news comes the conjecture as to which Spidey villain he will have to battle. Popular opinion says The Lizard due to the fact his alter-ego Dr. Curt Connors has featured in the previous Spider-Man movies as Peter Parker's teacher.
But what else might we expect to see.
In true Hollywood tradition let's pinch as much as we can from the comic books these super-heroes come from ...
5. Spidey Racer
For God's sake, Tobey Maguire is going to be in his late 30s by the time the new film comes out. Get the man a car. He can't be shooting around the city like he used to. Plus, how dorky is that damn scooter? He needs something like Batman's Tumbler. Not the Spider Car that actually appeared in the Marvel comics in the 1970s, but was so lame it lasted one edition.
Only if: The Wachowski Brothers replace Raimi as director. (Maybe not).
4. Robo-Parents
Someone was on something when they came up with this idea, and someone else was on something else when they allowed it to be published. Back in 1994 another comic-book storyline featured the return of Peter Parker's dead parents. No, it wasn't some crazy zombie angle, but some crazy android angle. These mumma and dadda robots have been programmed by The Chameleon to find out Spider-Man's real identity. It sounds like something from an episode of The Simpsons.
Only if: Peter 'Robo-Cop' Weller stars
as Peter Parker's dear old dad.
3. Spider Daycare!
The idea comes from a pretty recent comic-book storyline, aptly titled Sins of the Past. It paints (or draws) Gwen Stacey as a slut who gives birth to two mutant babies. These little bundles of joy grow up thinking they are the sons of Spider-Man, and believing he abandoned them, want to kill him. While they actually turned out to be the offspring of dirty old Norman Osborn (Green Goblin), after becoming such a sleazy himbo in Spider-Man 3, I wouldn't discount them being little Parker bastards.
Only if: Verne 'Mini Me' Troyer plays Spider-Man's mutant baby boy.
2. Spider-Men Don't Cry
Introducing Spider-Woman! Spider-Man has been kinda going down that whole earlier Batman series path with the overflow of characters in Spider-Man 3 anyway. Take this comic story-line from 1999 which sees newspaper editor Jonah Jameson's niece get her spidey powers from a `magical ceremony' with Norman Osborn (him again). She actually pretends to be Spider-Man while Peter Parker has a break from the crime-fighting game, and goes to Cancun.
Only if: Hilary Swank plays Spider-Woman. She knows how to fight, and she knows how to play a man.
1. Spider Night Fever
We got a taste of the John Travoltas Spider-Man-style in the last installment. Why not take it a step further by having Peter Parker gyrate his way into the 'wrong' nightclub? There, he comes face-to-face with a villain who hypnotizes people with disco music. Pretty frightening, except if you're deaf. The story was done in the comics - in the late-'70s, of course. Probably wouldn't work though. Maguire's dancing in the last movie was one of the reasons why it was panned.
Only if: The Bee Gees do the soundtrack. In fact, anyone but Chad Kroeger from Nickelback.
With the news comes the conjecture as to which Spidey villain he will have to battle. Popular opinion says The Lizard due to the fact his alter-ego Dr. Curt Connors has featured in the previous Spider-Man movies as Peter Parker's teacher.
But what else might we expect to see.
In true Hollywood tradition let's pinch as much as we can from the comic books these super-heroes come from ...
For God's sake, Tobey Maguire is going to be in his late 30s by the time the new film comes out. Get the man a car. He can't be shooting around the city like he used to. Plus, how dorky is that damn scooter? He needs something like Batman's Tumbler. Not the Spider Car that actually appeared in the Marvel comics in the 1970s, but was so lame it lasted one edition.
Only if: The Wachowski Brothers replace Raimi as director. (Maybe not).
Someone was on something when they came up with this idea, and someone else was on something else when they allowed it to be published. Back in 1994 another comic-book storyline featured the return of Peter Parker's dead parents. No, it wasn't some crazy zombie angle, but some crazy android angle. These mumma and dadda robots have been programmed by The Chameleon to find out Spider-Man's real identity. It sounds like something from an episode of The Simpsons.
Only if: Peter 'Robo-Cop' Weller stars
as Peter Parker's dear old dad.
The idea comes from a pretty recent comic-book storyline, aptly titled Sins of the Past. It paints (or draws) Gwen Stacey as a slut who gives birth to two mutant babies. These little bundles of joy grow up thinking they are the sons of Spider-Man, and believing he abandoned them, want to kill him. While they actually turned out to be the offspring of dirty old Norman Osborn (Green Goblin), after becoming such a sleazy himbo in Spider-Man 3, I wouldn't discount them being little Parker bastards.
Only if: Verne 'Mini Me' Troyer plays Spider-Man's mutant baby boy.
Introducing Spider-Woman! Spider-Man has been kinda going down that whole earlier Batman series path with the overflow of characters in Spider-Man 3 anyway. Take this comic story-line from 1999 which sees newspaper editor Jonah Jameson's niece get her spidey powers from a `magical ceremony' with Norman Osborn (him again). She actually pretends to be Spider-Man while Peter Parker has a break from the crime-fighting game, and goes to Cancun.
Only if: Hilary Swank plays Spider-Woman. She knows how to fight, and she knows how to play a man.
We got a taste of the John Travoltas Spider-Man-style in the last installment. Why not take it a step further by having Peter Parker gyrate his way into the 'wrong' nightclub? There, he comes face-to-face with a villain who hypnotizes people with disco music. Pretty frightening, except if you're deaf. The story was done in the comics - in the late-'70s, of course. Probably wouldn't work though. Maguire's dancing in the last movie was one of the reasons why it was panned.
Only if: The Bee Gees do the soundtrack. In fact, anyone but Chad Kroeger from Nickelback.
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